7 February 2014

Long Distance Relationships

Ive been wanting to post about this for a while but I've never really gotten up the courage to do so. Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common however, i still feel like people will judge me for it. 

Yes, my hair went pink/orange at one point!
Today, me and my boyfriend have been together for one year, and I'm not going to lie and say its easy because it isn't. Its really fxking hard. Let me just clarify, i am 16, and we started talking when i was 15 he was 17, and for this reason i've been hesitant to post this due to the criticism i may get. 

We first started talking in December, just before Christmas in 2012; i think it was the 17th? Im not sure, all i remember is he was working a lot, and he didn't reply very quickly at first. I never imagined it would go any further than just talking online, i was 15, what else what i supposed to do? I had plenty of other friends online, how was i to know this would be any different? 

So yes, we started talking a bit, the conversations were a bit disjointed and pointless for the first few days, and then we slowly got to learn a bit about each other. We first spoke on the phone on New Years Eve, and i thought his accent was funny and he pronounce my name wrong, typical man eh? It was a nice phone call though even if i was trying to decipher what he was saying. 

The next couple of weeks were spent endlessly texting, skyping and on the phone to each other. I learned a lot about him and began to like him. We discussed meeting up a few times, i said we should do it in summer as ill be broken up from school but he seemed more eager to do so. We agreed around the end of January to meet up in February, and i can still to this day remember asking my mum if he could stay round. It was after my interview to get into the Arts Uni in Bournemouth, i thought it went really well and they offered me a place, so we got a McDonalds to take home and we sat in the kitchen eating. Thats when i asked her. I can't even begin to describe how scared i was but she said yes and the only condition was that he slept in a different room. I could work with that. 

Anyway, we booked the train tickets and he came down on the 6th of February on his monumental trip from Norwich to Bournemouth. It was a little awkward at first, i didn't really know what to say and the fact he was smoking and i was struggling to stop myself from coughing the whole way home wasn't helping either, but things all began to settle down and we started having a lovely chat. 

We got home and he briefly said hi to my parents. Later that evening he asked me out, and i of course said yes. Well thats how we met and how this all began. I can't really think of anything better that happened last year. 

I generally got to see him once a month, or when my parents went on holiday he used to come down and stay for a few days. It was nice like that, it was like we were actually living together. But having a LDR isn't cheap. Train tickets if booked early enough in advance are £55, and the most we have had to pay is £88. Saving up can be quite difficult but we always go half on things which seems to work well. 

Christmas and birthdays are a bit difficult too though, i don't earn a lot and having to save up for them as well as the train fayre and money for food/days out seems to disappear quickly. We both have expensive taste too which doesn't help. 

I think long distance relationships are hard because you have to completely trust the other person for this to work, i mean, its taken me a year to accept that actually he's not going to go out and get some other girl and we're getting better for that. We talk a lot, every day in fact. Its not always a lot though, maybe a couple of texts after work, or a short phone call before bed but it helps. 

I also find LDR's are quite good for people with busy lifestyles, as i manage to get everything done that i need to without having a boyfriend who always wants to see me/be with me. Well, he does, but he can't which is a godsend! 

Ive never really thought about 'do i want to be in an LDR or not?" its more about the person and how they make you feel and if they make you happy then i think you should go for it, things definitely worked for us! Although you should be careful and make sure the person is actually who they say they are first, just in case. 

This is so far my longest and best relationship, well of course its going to be my best I'm still in it! I couldn't be happier with him, and although I'm moody, and unstable and pretty much always take it out on him he still stands by me and manages to cheer me up. 

Have any of you ever been in a long distance relationship? How did it work out for you guys? Id love to hear your stories!